old friends

slay the beast
that like a dissolving silhouette
roams at the corner of your eye
leaves when you walk to it
stays a friendly whisper
in your ear
on your weakest,
ugliest days.

find the piece of you that’s rotting
(we’ve all got one)
hunt it out,
                     rip it out
before it makes everything else
around it decay.


words =samantha lucero 2017 ©.
photo = tumblr. aka, you tell me.

like a stone

this blog is for writing poetry and stories.

i’ve been missing from here lately, because i’ve devoted a lot more time to personal endeavors (working on several short stories, self publishing the poetry book i’ve mentioned, and finishing a full-length novel.) i’ve also been depressed. i usually would have never admitted that, but in this place is feels anonymous enough. i’ve also been toiling over a few new poems, but i’m here to acknowledge someone else’s work. someone no longer with us.

although i was struck harder by bowie and cohen this year, especially cohen since his music and his words have had an influence on my own, chris cornell was like a drafty candle in the background of a lot of the musical influences in my youthful memories. his bands occasionally had hits that i’d listen to on repeat. he was a poet, and not many know that.

this song is one of the best songs ever written, obviously not one of the best videos. many people have moved on from it still believing it’s a love song — it’s not. it’s about death. and since he has died it is a privilege to see into his mind even from many years ago. the video is amusingly early 2000’s with the lack of skinny jeans and manicured facial hair, but i hope that he’s finally where he wants to be.

on a cobweb afternoon
   in a room full of emptiness
      by a freeway I confess
           i was lost in the pages
               of a book full of death
                    reading how we’ll die alone
                       and if we’re good, we’ll lay to rest
                             anywhere we want to go

all the beds are made – samantha lucero

more of my SD stuff.

Sudden Denouement Collective

when did you keep god under your tongue,
like
an uninvited pill
from that plastic nurse behind a wall,
masked
and reaching out to hand you an orange
mood
in a paper cup made in L.A.

for whom did your milky eyes blur,
or from whose unseen stare did the water
of your ribs buckle and hide
when you knew that worship was a mask we
wear,
that rituals and skin
give us a tendency to forgot how to say no?

i was born in a summer cage that sold
whispers to me
in body-sized trash bags, flung at donation
trucks where you wait and
where you drive up and pry a hole, pull out
unwanted secrets you can take home
and cherish as yours from other people’s
unglamorous lives; a boy scout’s book
on how to make a fire.
a girl scout’s book about how to cook on it.

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let’s be strangers in new orleans – samantha lucero

more of me from SD.

Sudden Denouement Collective

next-day sore, fabled romance memories we’ll never have again hang themselves over the morgue of myshoulders. they sling there on the murderess hews of my collarbones like a noose. over the rubble of me like a shapeless dress, they cling. my sadness is a one-size fits all.

there’s a bad mystery of stitched up, prayer-words smothered & held hostageunderneath the humid crucifix gameof your nails. maybe we could be in love.your calloused hand, my beating throat. memories are ghosts that can physically embrace me; embrace us.

likedirt-sweat in a ghost-tour day of that hot mouth street in New Orleans, where the grinning specter-folks wanna stay like pastedgaslight posts in booze-colored hurricane beads. where there’s oiled-up candles in the balmy night lining decatur& quivering tarot cards in a sweaty palm telling me i’m meant for greatness. hail the votives for a virgin or a saint-chief, & watch palpitations at…

View original post 127 more words

meet me

there’s a splintery hand on my itchy throat

Y E S

chain-smoking chemical lights with a cat-grin
fangs winking & biting into the swan-lake
neck of the unloving moon
& a peace that’s always prayed for festers in the ears
but the knock that never comes to say
your wishes have arrived pales in your vampiric heart.

my lips, lost in thought, are clotted by an amnion of flesh
to the golden filter of a yellow pack of american spirits
thinking of your living hands, thinking of danger, thinking about
getting out of here, of everywhere
the enemy-skin bleeds of hesitated words or held breath,
i taste my own blood
& like the soft wolves of sudden-grey sleep
waiting there
i lick, fetal-lick. curl & lay.

i’ve got half a mind left, the other half obscure, and that barbed-wire boundary can’t even seek refuge in its own cage. half my mind is somewhere wailing in a hellkitchen into a hollow-bone bottle of blackwood. half my mind where it begs for retreat, for an unexplored path to surrender, raises a white flag into heaven that just comes back down with bullet holes.
& the knuckle-numbing snow days
i miss more than i love my own life linger like smoke outside that bar.
the smell’s in the edges of my hair. the smell is waiting there.
with you. s o m e where.


words = samantha lucero 2017 ©
image = giphy.com.

r.i.p.

here lies you, silent as the dust you’ve built
my favored disgrace, my bookmarked witch.

i hang YOU every morning in the mirror. i curl you back from your pacific grave by the rope i buried you in just to hear you scream again.

it’s your tired eyes that shimmer patiently in the placental dark that makes me hold my breath, makes me ooze ‘why?’

some silky word you cup over my mouth like a burglar’s glove;
sometimes i glint like a knife under the moon.”
 sometimes i want to die.

here lies me, the view from the prison behind my eyes. they have to saw a hole there someday. maybe that’s when i’ll go away.

there was the picture of dorian gray that he would hide from everyone. the monster gnawed by its own teeth, the truth.

i am the picture & somewhere is my better half.


words = samantha lucero 2017 ©
image = not mine. from tumblr.

get back on the highway

this place is dead.
it fell down with me into the velvet soil of a fresh-dug grave.
the wisps of faces from their glory days
where their nuclear shadows burned in time
on concrete walls; you see them in their
jalopies, fretting over marlboro reds
they got by fisting pennies into the coinstar, what a jackpot, and
where to put their name in goblin spray paint tonight at 2am? ask H-i-m.
they say he only
knows.
i see them like ants shuttling home their
crumpled friends on twisted backs.
this place is like an amusement park,
except the amusements here
are people’s lives.
perhaps a haunted house.
it’s the grey toxic place where you couldn’t hold it anymore,
everything evaporating, everything broke, everyone
modern pompeii.
an american nightmare.
the next stop not for another 40 miles. same
shit food, same gas station H-e was at, same
lost girl with overgrown acrylic nails she
can’t afford to fill till next paycheck, maybe
not even then. handing you the 15th batch of
fries. have a nice day.
please help me.  i’m anonymous as a flea.
invisible as pain in the dark.


words = samantha lucero 2017 ©
image = giphy.com

the good ones die

 

i wish i could recall the pulsing safety
of my mother’s red, warm womb
that sacred burrow i curled where all i heard
was the watery song of her galloping heart
& the indistinct voice of my uncertain future
where she’d forget i ever lived within her
where i was wove to bone & flesh
& therefore have known her like
no other ever will
where she could not turn her back on me
as she did in life, because she wore me
in the front; a living fragment of her
until it came time i breathe on my own
& since then i’ve always breathed
alone

how did it feel to be carried
in strong arms born on
or near halloween?
to be kissed while i slept
by the bags of blood-blue eyes?
to be ignorant of the
cold, hard truths of life?

before life scrubbed them from my skin
erased them from my spine & eyes
replaced them with fire
& darkness, so that i’d know that
bad memories burn & the good ones die
i wish i had my last memories of peace


words = samantha lucero 2016 ©
image = not mine.